vital functions

Dec. 21st, 2025 10:49 pm
kaberett: Trans symbol with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
[personal profile] kaberett

Reading. Nothing (quite) finished; various snippets. Scalzi, Bourke, Boddice, Cowart )

Watching. Wake Up Dead Man (the third instalment in the Benoit Blanc/Knives Out mysteries). Read more... )

Three episodes of Man vs. Bee, in company; this is... not for me.

Playing. Inkulinati! And, with the niblings: Match Madness, The Genius Square, Rummikub, Dixit.

Cooking. A new-to-me fruitcake recipe from one of my cookbooks; a dal from the cookbook I am not actually going to manage Making Everything From by the end of the calendar year (but I am pretty close).

Eating. I have now had A Mince Pie. Also a very long lunch at the Gardeners Arms. The brownies that all the reviews of the place we wound up staying in Ardlingy mentioned (which were indeed v good).

Exploring. Wakehurst Place, both at night for Glow Wild and during daylight (a little)!

Growing. Bought curry leaves. Proceeded to strip most of the stems (freezing the leaves) and Treat As Cuttings. There's at least one of them that doesn't look actually dead yet...

Observing. OWL OWL OWL. Very talkative tawny, as we were leaving Wakehurst on Friday night. Snowdrops, also at Wakehurst, to my mild horror. And, blessedly, NOT The Charity Tractor Parade...

happy birthday dad

Dec. 21st, 2025 02:46 pm
fox: my left eye.  "ceci n'est pas une fox." (Default)
[personal profile] fox
me and dad

My dad (R) would have been 78 today. ❤️

Solstice

Dec. 21st, 2025 02:22 pm
rmc28: Rachel in hockey gear on the frozen fen at Upware, near Cambridge (Default)
[personal profile] rmc28

Sunrise at 08:07
Sunset at 15:49

On this shortest day of the year, Nico and I went to Clip-n-Climb first thing, cycling there and back together through a heavily overcast but weirdly mild December day. We did a little Co-op run on the way home, and then I unpacked the hire car before returning it. I decided against buses or scooters and walked the hour or so back home, including a little diversion to collect a yoga towel from Decathlon. If all goes to plan, I will cycle to hot yoga this evening in the dark (and quite probably the rain) for the first of my "festive pass" sessions.

(I mean it about being weirdly mild: both cycling and walking I had to take my hoodie off because I was too hot.)

Technically I started the 21st of December still awake at midnight, and watching the first couple of episodes of Shoresy, a Canadian comedy TV show about ice hockey, on a friend's recommendation. (Same director/executive producer as Heated Rivalry although I didn't realise that until after I'd started watching.) Very crude, very funny.

Ice hockey, climbing, walking outdoors, yoga. Spending time with my offspring, thinking of my friends, and taking care of myself. If this is a turning day of the year, it's a good set of things to mark it.

Strictly we are not yet into the "mellandagarna", the in-between days of Christmas-to-New-Year. I'm still working until lunchtime on Wednesday, but a lot of the usual rhythms of my life and my household are paused now. School's out, hockey practice is out, everything has "holiday opening hours" listed and I'm feeling a bit unmoored. (Being ill most of the last fortnight probably hasn't helped.) My yoga pass is part of my attempt to put a little structure on the downtime.

Weekend fun, and the week to come

Dec. 20th, 2025 10:24 am
rmc28: Rachel in hockey gear on the frozen fen at Upware, near Cambridge (Default)
[personal profile] rmc28

Yesterday after work I did a library run (more Rick Riordan!) on the way to pick up a hire car for the weekend. Then drove with Charles over to Northstowe for the Kodiaks Christmas party at the Northstowe Tap and Social. Secret Santa, noodles buffet, attempting to introduce an American to prawn crackers - she didn't like them - and a drag queen bingo.

I left the party a little early to go to the last Warbirds practice of the year and was so glad to be back on the ice again. (Yes, in shock news, 48 hours after having a massive mood crash about having a cold forever, I was well enough to skate hard for 90 minutes. It is a weird signal, but a consistent one.) It was ten days since my last practice, and it's now ten days until my next one (Kodiaks 2 on 30 Dec). I missed it so much. Practice was just the right level of challenging that I'm really pushing myself but not feeling like a hopeless incompetent, it was just what I needed, as was seeing my teammates again.

(Charles made his own way home from Northstowe by bus)

Tonight is the last Kodiaks 1 game of the year, for which I will be herding the volunteers as usual, and rocking my lovely new manager's coat (incredibly warm knee-length hooded puffer coat, personalised with the club logo and my initials). There is apparently a post-game clubbing plan. And tomorrow morning I'm taking Nico climbing. Somewhere in there I'm sleeping, honest.

I have 2.5 more days to work this year, and I am so ready to be done. The giant Ocado order is booked for Tuesday evening. I have a very large pile of borrowed books to read, and the rink public skate schedule in my calendar. The hot yoga place had a special offer, so I also have a 12-day pass to get me through the lack of hockey practices. They are quite strict about turning up sick, and I still have a bit of a cough this morning, so I won't be using it today. But hopefully tomorrow.

Deck the roof with loud repairmen

Dec. 19th, 2025 06:50 pm
azurelunatic: Log book entry from Adm. Hopper's command: "Relay #70 Panel F (moth) in relay. First actual case of bug being found" (bug)
[personal profile] azurelunatic
My hyperfocus does still work to the extent that when I was reading earlier today, I tuned out the various scraping and occasional hammering noises from the roof. I could not, however, sleep through the hammering.

Which is perhaps why Belovedest is on the shopping trip without me today. I was too cold and tired to get ready, let alone go out into the cold and dark.

LANTERNS

Dec. 19th, 2025 10:34 pm
kaberett: Trans symbol with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
[personal profile] kaberett

This afternoon did not go to plan and we did not achieve The Fancy Dinner we'd intended, but we DID make it to Glow Wild and the macaroni cheese was NOT sad cold soup, so I'm calling that a win.

Have a starfish for now, with more to follow <3

a lantern shaped like a starfish, with purple centre and cyan arms

fuzzy matching: still a mistake

Dec. 18th, 2025 10:29 pm
kaberett: Trans symbol with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
[personal profile] kaberett

No, internet, I guarantee you that 100% of the time that someone searches for explain pain supercharged, results they do not want are anything you think matches the string "explain paint supercharged". Hope that helps! Have A Nice Day!

(Still not anything like as annoying as fuzzy matching on a[b|d]sorb in GOOGLE SCHOLAR, but nonetheless Quite.)

Glow Wild 2024

Dec. 17th, 2025 11:31 pm
kaberett: Trans symbol with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
[personal profile] kaberett

I realised earlier today that I never actually got around to uploading photos from last year's Glow Wild. Since we'll be going to this year's on Friday, now seems like a good time to remedy that...

lanterns: a group of three badgers

+6 )

Woe (and cheering myself up)

Dec. 17th, 2025 10:29 pm
rmc28: Rachel in hockey gear on the frozen fen at Upware, near Cambridge (Default)
[personal profile] rmc28

I am the stage of being ill with a cold where it feels like I will never be well again, I barely even remember what it is to not cough, and all is doom. Woe, woe is me. [From experience, this stage is usually about two days before I actually get fully well, but try telling my feelings that.]

(brought to you by having to miss yet another hockey practice tonight, the penultimate one of the year, and being sad about it)

Cheering myself up with the news that Heated Rivalry comes to the UK on 10 January. I am going to be very normal about it. Meanwhile I await a delivery of Rick Riordan books from my dealer the buddy who got me into them, and Instagram is doing its usual creepily-accurate targeting, supplying me with Yorkshire Percy Jackson and advertising a PJ musical in Peterborough next spring.

Okay so more context

Dec. 17th, 2025 09:29 pm
rydra_wong: Lee Miller photo showing two women wearing metal fire masks in England during WWII. (Default)
[personal profile] rydra_wong
(Re: the previous entry.)

Dragonslayer Ornstein & Executioner Smough (also known as Oreo and S'mores, Biggie and Smalls, Pikachu and Snorlax, Rodgers and Hammerstein, and any other name the fandom can come up with) are one of the most iconic boss fights in the entire Dark Souls series.

There are much harder ones in later games (and in the DLC), but they're still legendary and still regarded as a Serious boss fight.

They're also a famous mid-game difficulty spike and cause of rage quitting. Conversely, if you can get through O&S, people often say you should have the skills to beat the rest of the base game.

The major issue is that it's a duo boss fight, with one agile speedster (Ornstein) who can zip most of the way across the room in a single move, and also throws lightning, and one heavyweight bruiser (Smough) who is slower but not that slow -- he has a charge attack to close distance fast that hits like a freight train -- and does huge amounts of damage.

So for the first phase of the fight, you have to try to keep track of where they both are simultaneously (not to mention where you are in relation to the room, so you don't back yourself into a corner and get trapped) and constantly manoeuvre to try to be able to get in a hit on one without being hit by the other.

If you kill one of them, the fight goes into a second phase where the surviving one absorbs some of their powers (so if it's Smough, he gets lightning, while if it's Ornstein he gets sized up and picks up part of Smough's moveset) and also restarts with a full and vastly increased health bar. Though there is a general consensus that the second phase is more manageable than the first phase simply because you're not having to fight two bosses at the same time.

Illustrative example of someone doing the fight:



(You can summon an NPC or other human players to try to help you, but the bosses get extra health to compensate and it's still tough. And also I have been having enormous fun trying to beat all the bosses without summons so far, and am averse to the extra complications and unpredictability of having more people -- human or NPC -- in the mix while I try to figure out a fight. Though I've also had enormous fun being a summons for other people on boss fights, so zero disrespect to people summoning*, it's an excellent game mechanic.)

As I may have mentioned once or twice, my brain has huge difficulty tracking multiple moving objects (which is why I can't drive or cycle on the road) and I have the reaction speed of a slime mould.

So yeah. I knew O&S are the big mid-game stopper and I was very aware that this could potentially be the point where I hit a wall and the game became flatly impossible for me. Or at least where I'd have to summon to get through it.

And that did not happen. I solo-ed O&S.

It took multiple sessions over multiple days before I mastered it, but that's standard for me on DS boss fights. And I had SO MUCH FUN. It's SUCH A COOL FIGHT.

I did a thing that was a real achievement for me and I am very proud, and especially given the shitshow this year has been, I'll take it.

{*Necessary disclaimer only because Dark Souls fandom has historically had a section who are toxic as fuck and would like you to know that you didn't really beat the game if you summoned or used magic or whatthefuckever else they disapprove of.}

So

Dec. 16th, 2025 11:19 am
rydra_wong: Lee Miller photo showing two women wearing metal fire masks in England during WWII. (Default)
[personal profile] rydra_wong
... I just beat Ornstein and Smough.

For anyone who would like context -- Symbalily meets and gets to grips with O&S, from the timestamp: https://youtu.be/3TKhwbveyVE?si=14uuwYlVq1ywUwRk&t=5681

Beads have arrived!

Dec. 15th, 2025 06:31 pm
azurelunatic: Vivid pink Alaskan wild rose. (Default)
[personal profile] azurelunatic
I lost the beads I was going to use for the two crocheted necklaces. (I think it's safe to say in *this* venue that I got commissioned to make a second one, and the second one is going more smoothly than the first one in all respects so far.)

Since the replacement beads included ones shipped from Czechoslovakia, I've been nervous that I won't be able to finish on time. (Which I still probably won't, but I can make An Effort now.)

The last of the replacement beads arrived today, and I am very happy with this. Will I get cracking on it? Well, probably not today.

Additionally, it's been a not as terrible as usual leg day. Hooray for physical therapy (and remembering to do it), and hooray for pain meds. (Yesterday I completely spaced my pain meds until bedtime. Surprised Pikachu was surprised at how horrible a leg day it was.)

Vindicated!

Dec. 15th, 2025 02:35 pm
rmc28: (reading)
[personal profile] rmc28

Literally the funniest thing I have read about the Heated Rivalry tv show so far (thanks to the Rec Center newsletter last Friday):

"With Hockey RPF the fanfic was for the romance and the sex, the things canon didn't provide. But in Heated Rivalry canon does provide. So logic dictates that the fanfic is there to make them actually play hockey." - (from bluesky)

It's not just me who wants more hockey in the hockey romance!

(Heated Rivalry is still not legally available in the UK; HBO Max is launching in the UK in March, hopefully it'll include the show when it does.)

Meanwhile my Rick Riordan reading adventure has come to the end of the 10 (ten!) books I bought on Kindle a decade ago for no reason I now remember, so I have been wrangling the local libraries to get more. I'm officially off sick today with this stupid cough, and resting / reading a lot.

  • I could be reading through the large pile of library Riordans ... but no
  • I could be reading one of the other four library books I have out that are due back this week ... but no
  • I could read one of the several books I already bought in December ... but no
  • I could go wild and watch the episodes-so-far of Percy Jackson on Disney+ (challenge my inability to watch anything by myself!) ... but no
  • I am actually reading a modern AU fanfic of Much Ado About Nothing and vaguely wondering about challenging my inability to watch anything by myself with the Tennant/Tate production

vital functions

Dec. 14th, 2025 10:19 pm
kaberett: Trans symbol with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
[personal profile] kaberett

Reading. Scalzi, Bourke, Barber + Bayley, Boddice, Cowart )

Writing. I have a document that contains the outline and extensive transcribed quotations for the Descartes apologia! ... it's already over 5000 words long! And that's before I even get into the argument about Against New Dualism! I think. It is going to wind up needing to be split into two essays. One of which is the quotations about How People Summarise Descartes + What Descartes Actually Said, and the second of which will then be the polemic about how you don't get to rail against mind-body dualism if you then replicate it unfailingly with commitment to the absolute separation of central sensitisation and peripheral nociception. With the former as non-essential background reading for the latter...

Watching. Encanto, courtesy of The Child. I had retained approximately none of the plot from the Encanto-flavoured Baby Yoga we did together recently, happily, and also I Did A Cry. (I am also genuinely impressed that "fish is in terrible bowl" was an indication of where things were going...)

Listening. The Instructions For Getting To The Child, while cycling, via the bone-conduction headphones. V pleased.

Playing. The Little Orchard avec Child! Using some definite House Rules. Also being Someone With Long Arms for various self-directed play. I continue to be told Many Numberblocks Facts. :)

Eating. I put in an order with Cocoa Loco, maker of My Favourite Chocolate For A While Now, for the purposes of A Convenient Present; I also acquired, because Why Not, a single brownie portion and the cocoa nibs & hazelnut bar. I'm not sure I think the cocoa nibs particularly enhance the experience but I do like the Good Dark Chocolate With Hazelnuts of it all; I think I prefer My Default Brownie Recipe to their brownie BUT I also think that having a bag-safe well-wrappped calorie-dense food was extremely valuable in the context of some of this week's more questionable adventures, and I did enjoy it a great deal while I was, you know, inhaling it.

Exploring. BIG HECKIN BIKE RIDE. Many fewer birds along the canal than last time I did that route (on an unseasonably warm day in April); extremely excited to confirm that Walthamstow Wetlands is Within Scope for a trip At Some Point, though possibly not until it's warmer again.

And then today I learned of the existence of and attended an event at the London LGBTQ+ Community Centre, just across the bridge from Blackfriars, which they blurb as "The London LGBTQ+ Community Centre is a sober, intersectional community centre and café where all LGBTQ+ people are welcome, supported, can build connections and can flourish." They have comfy sofas and a permanent clothes swap and a wee library and a very large bookshelf full of boardgames, and a whole bunch of structured social groups as well as walk-ins. I am charmed, I am pleased with my purchases (including MORE BULLSHIT CERAMICS), and I... am contemplating maybe actually getting myself out to some more of their events, not just when I have a friend visiting from abroad who suggested Attending A Market.

more on visual culture in science

Dec. 12th, 2025 11:04 am
kaberett: Trans symbol with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
[personal profile] kaberett

This morning I am watching the lecture I linked to on Tuesday!

At 6:53:

Here is an example of how the Hubble telescope image of the Omega nebula, or Messier 17, was created, by adding colours -- which seem to have been chosen quite arbitrarily -- and adjusting composition.

The slide is figure 13 (on page 10) from an Introduction to Image Processing (PDF) on the ESA Hubble website; I'm baffled at the idea that the colours were chosen "arbitrarily" given that the same PDF contains (starting on page 8) §1.4 Assigning colours to different filter exposures. It's not a super clear explanation -- I think the WonderDome explainer is distinctly more readable -- but the explanation does exist and is there.

Obviously I immediately had to stop and look all of this up.

(Rest of the talk was interesting! But that point in particular about modern illustration as I say made me go HOLD ON A SEC--)

[surgery] one year on!

Dec. 11th, 2025 10:28 pm
kaberett: Trans symbol with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
[personal profile] kaberett

I continue extremely grateful to no longer have ureteric stents.

a bit of stock-taking )

side-tracks off side-tracks

Dec. 10th, 2025 11:08 pm
kaberett: Trans symbol with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
[personal profile] kaberett

One of the things I found yesterday, while getting distracted from transcription by regretting not having taken History and Philosophy of Science (or, more accurately, not having shown up to the lectures to just listen), was some tantalising notes on the existence of a four-lecture series entitled Visual Culture in Science and Medicine:

Science today is supremely visual – in its experiments, observations and communication, images have become integral to the scientific enterprise. These four lectures examine the role of images in anatomy, natural history and astronomy between the 15th and the 18th centuries. Rather than assessing images against a yardstick of increasing empiricism or an onward march towards accurate observation, these lectures draw attention to the myriad, ingenious ways in which images were deployed to create scientific objects, aid scientific arguments and simulate instrumental observations. Naturalistic styles of depictions are often mistaken for evidence of first-hand observation, but in this period, they were deployed as a visual rhetoric of persuasion rather than proof of an observed object. By examining the production and uses of imagery in this period, these lectures will offer ways to understand more generally what was entailed in scientific visualisation in early modern Europe.

I've managed to track down a one-hour video (that I've obviously not consumed yet, because audiovisual processing augh). Infuriatingly Kusukawa's book on the topic only covers the sixteenth century, not the full timespan of the lectures, and also it's fifty quid for the PDF. I have located a sample of the thing, consisting of the front matter and the first fifteen pages of the introduction (it cuts off IN MID SENTENCE).

Now daydreaming idly about comparative study of this + Tufte, which I also haven't got around to reading...

kaberett: Trans symbol with Swiss Army knife tools at other positions around the central circle. (Default)
[personal profile] kaberett

Item the first: the 1972 Harvard University Press Treatise of Man, translated by Thomas Steele Hall. This translation is quoted by two of the other books I'm working with, Pain: the science of suffering by Patrick Wall (1999), and The Painful Truth by Monty Lyman (2021). It is also an edition that, as I understand it, contains a facsimile of the first French edition (1664, itself a translation of the Latin published in 1662). My French is not up to reading actual seventeenth-century philosophy, but being able to spot-check a couple of paragraphs will be Useful For My Argument.

Item the second: Descartes: Key Philosophical Writings, translated by Elizabeth S. Haldane and G.R.T. Ross (1997). This doesn't contain Treatise on Man, but it's the translation of Meditations on First Philosophy that's quoted in The Story of Pain by Joanna Bourke (2014).

Meanwhile the Descartes essay, thus far composed primarily but not solely of quotations from other works, has somehow made it north of 4500 words. I think it might even be starting to make an argument.

Read more... )

I am resisting the urge to try to turn this into a Proper Survey Of Popular Books On Pain, because that sounds like a lot of work that will probably involve reading a bunch of philosophers I find profoundly irritating, and also THIS IS A TOTAL DISTRACTION from the ACTUAL WORK I AM TRYING TO DO. But it's a distraction that is getting me writing, so I'll take it.

okay last part first

Dec. 9th, 2025 03:16 pm
fox: jack is tired of listening to daniel (ack (by Lanning))
[personal profile] fox

When we last met, it was November 3 and my mother's um-friend had just passed away and I was in wracks of agony about choices she had made at the beginning of that relationship and hoping that now that the relationship was, perforce, over, I wouldn't have to Deal quite so much with those choices anymore.

The next day, of course, was Election Day, and as you know, Bob, the good guys did pretty well all the way up and down the street. It was a good Tuesday night and a good Wednesday morning.

Which is why it was a surprise when I got to work Wednesday morning and I was still wound up way too tight and feeling much too upset to function and subject to four-or-five-minute crying jags for no obvious reason at random intervals. I did not like it. I have come to expect to feel like this—although not to this degree—for the month of October, but here it was October 36 and I wasn't feeling any better, and that hasn't happened in 12 years. So I said to my boss, in my daily check-in email, I think I'm also going to have to write up some ways I'm realizing my mental health has been not okay for a while now and regrettably may have been affecting my work. Always fun. (To his credit, he immediately said "Well, we've got to find some time for you to come talk to me, okay, because I see an employee say 'mental health,' I sit right up and pay attention.")

So I made a list. )

Update: HA HA HA when I began it on November 20, this was going to be a post about how I emailed my doctor on like November, I don't know, 5 or 6, and she immediately (like, by that weekend) agreed to double my dose of Lexapro, and within a couple of days I was breathing more easily, and I stopped crying so much of the time, and hopefully if that happens again one of us will realize it a lot sooner so I don't spend so long suffering? And then for some reason I was looking through the old entries in here and found where someone in one of my Discords said "panic attack" on July 23 and apparently none of us (self, Himself, my brother [who doesn't live locally but given that the major precipitating event was evidently moving my mom to memory care, his input is not irrelevant]) listened? So, erm, that wasn't our best collective decision, in retrospect.

And then it turns out it's a good thing I've bumped up my Lexapro dosing, because holy shit the first week of December has been what in the being-my-mom's-children racket could safely be called a humdinger in ways I simply cannot talk about right now. I can feel the tightness trying to tighten up my chest, in fact, and not being able to do it. It's something. But whoo boy.

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