Firstly, darling, we all knew you were mad. we love you. My advice is, go to the doctors and get a little piece of paper telling you you're mad, frame it and put it on your wall next to your rocky posters.
As to the bell-curve thing; I agree with what's been said before, that's it's only an issue as far as it's seriously affecting your life; to which I'd add that it's probably also an issue if it's upsetting or disrupting other people.
I am in a bit of a state over this one, to be honest. Because I'm probably one of the only people on your flist who's actually been committed for a few things, I can say that being told some things that were 'disorders' and how to 'fix' them actually did help a great deal, and I'm still grateful for the opportunities I had. (However, I was so desperate at the time that probably ANYTHING would have helped that wasn't being-in-the-situation-i-was-in)
However, I am only just beginning to realise how badly fucked up I was by the very litigiousness you're talking about - the conformity of their attitudes. For example, they spent half the time I was in there telling me that I was gay and that I was refusing to accept it, and telling me that I could only get better once i'd 'confessed' my homosexuality. I was told that if I wasn't gay I'd have to 'embrace my femininity,' as the only other option for 'healing'. Now, i'm not queer - i don't fancy girls - but clearly modern psychiatric practice hasn't come to terms with the idea that someone can still have big gender issues - can desperately ache for a body different to their own, can worship the idea of androgyny - without actually desiring their own sex. but i was vulnerable to suggestion, i caved in, and slowly and with great difficulty, I learned to accept my 'girliness,' pretended to like my shape, and grew out my crew cut as a gesture (it was strongly recommended). And i squished all my desires down because I was told it was the only way to get better. now of course, I'm in a situation where at last I'm healthy, much happier than I've ever been, good friends, good uni, etc. I still get the occasional craving to shave my head and put on a tie and tank top like I used to wear; but I'm terrified even to think about it, because it's been drilled into me that I'm either 'gay' or 'straight,' and if I go back to being 'hmmm' then I risk losing all the progress I've made. And I don't think this is one I'm going to get over - it's been hammered in too deep. I'm still happier than I've ever been, don't get me wrong, my life is pretty good. but I'll never know how much happier I could be if I lived life differently.
a very long ramble with the conclusion that I hate shrinks and I hate theirnotions of conformity!
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2006-02-19 06:25 pm (UTC)As to the bell-curve thing; I agree with what's been said before, that's it's only an issue as far as it's seriously affecting your life; to which I'd add that it's probably also an issue if it's upsetting or disrupting other people.
I am in a bit of a state over this one, to be honest. Because I'm probably one of the only people on your flist who's actually been committed for a few things, I can say that being told some things that were 'disorders' and how to 'fix' them actually did help a great deal, and I'm still grateful for the opportunities I had. (However, I was so desperate at the time that probably ANYTHING would have helped that wasn't being-in-the-situation-i-was-in)
However, I am only just beginning to realise how badly fucked up I was by the very litigiousness you're talking about - the conformity of their attitudes. For example, they spent half the time I was in there telling me that I was gay and that I was refusing to accept it, and telling me that I could only get better once i'd 'confessed' my homosexuality. I was told that if I wasn't gay I'd have to 'embrace my femininity,' as the only other option for 'healing'. Now, i'm not queer - i don't fancy girls - but clearly modern psychiatric practice hasn't come to terms with the idea that someone can still have big gender issues - can desperately ache for a body different to their own, can worship the idea of androgyny - without actually desiring their own sex. but i was vulnerable to suggestion, i caved in, and slowly and with great difficulty, I learned to accept my 'girliness,' pretended to like my shape, and grew out my crew cut as a gesture (it was strongly recommended). And i squished all my desires down because I was told it was the only way to get better.
now of course, I'm in a situation where at last I'm healthy, much happier than I've ever been, good friends, good uni, etc. I still get the occasional craving to shave my head and put on a tie and tank top like I used to wear; but I'm terrified even to think about it, because it's been drilled into me that I'm either 'gay' or 'straight,' and if I go back to being 'hmmm' then I risk losing all the progress I've made. And I don't think this is one I'm going to get over - it's been hammered in too deep. I'm still happier than I've ever been, don't get me wrong, my life is pretty good. but I'll never know how much happier I could be if I lived life differently.
a very long ramble with the conclusion that I hate shrinks and I hate theirnotions of conformity!