(no subject)

[sebastienne]

so i was looking on the barracudas website to see who's coming back to work on the camp with me this summer. and one of the group assistants has a first name that i know rather well. it's ludicrous for me to think that there is only one person in the world with this name, but i know that she went to barracudas - hell, she went with me, one year - and i imagine that she still lives just down the road. there must be thousands of girls with her name. even with the non-standard (better) spelling. why did my mind jump to l.b. as soon as i saw her name?

it's because i want to know how her life is. i want to see-and-not-be-seen, just to make sure she's ok. but i don't think i really want to see her again. i'd try to explain myself. i'd be 14 years old and lost, again.

ETA: oh god. i wrote her a letter, when i thought she might need me. in it, one of the few pieces of news i had to share was that i was working at barracudas with a girl we both once knew. it's her, my intuition is screaming it. i haven't seen her for two and a half years. i'm sure she's grown up. i sure as hell have. maybe it will be like the reunion of long-lost friends, not awkward or painful at all. my god i never meant to hurt her!

ETA2: my life is a fucking soap opera. she's like my harold bishop.