(no subject)
Nov. 5th, 2004 07:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sebastienneat the moment i am feeling incredibly happy, singing along to evanescence and harmonising.
i don't know why; maybe there is no reason. AG sent me the Harvard student newspaper, just because it had an article about BDSM in - no other reason. i'm reading anne rice again, queen of the damned. today i had the best damn mocha in the world, i don't care that it cost £2.25.
this morning, however, i was more depressed than i have been in ages. so depressed, in fact, i was thinking like ginsberg in the voice of tom waits.
I hate homophobia in the college that holds queer bop. I hate one quarter of American states passing laws that outlaw love in law. I hate a world in which this can happen, but kiss the lips of my dead God in gratitude for the European Court of Human Rights. I am scared of America and I fear the American dream, because I don't believe it cares who it hurts on its way to fulfillment. I am scared of myself and the fact that I am not Gandhi, I am scared because a man was killed on the South Bank for his homosexuality. I am scared that no-one will listen to me because I am not Ginsberg. I am scared that no-one is listening to Ginsberg because he's a dirty filthy liberal, fighting the homosexual agenda. Who next, Whitman too? He liked boys, I guess his strophes were all for nothing. I guess he must be evil and corrupting and we must protect the children! Because God forbid they would think it OK to love someone.
at least the fact that i have to buy my own food means it's harder to fall back into the cycle of compulsive overeating. i haven't done that once since i arrived here. in fact, i have generally been happier since arriving here.
i don't know why; maybe there is no reason. AG sent me the Harvard student newspaper, just because it had an article about BDSM in - no other reason. i'm reading anne rice again, queen of the damned. today i had the best damn mocha in the world, i don't care that it cost £2.25.
this morning, however, i was more depressed than i have been in ages. so depressed, in fact, i was thinking like ginsberg in the voice of tom waits.
I hate homophobia in the college that holds queer bop. I hate one quarter of American states passing laws that outlaw love in law. I hate a world in which this can happen, but kiss the lips of my dead God in gratitude for the European Court of Human Rights. I am scared of America and I fear the American dream, because I don't believe it cares who it hurts on its way to fulfillment. I am scared of myself and the fact that I am not Gandhi, I am scared because a man was killed on the South Bank for his homosexuality. I am scared that no-one will listen to me because I am not Ginsberg. I am scared that no-one is listening to Ginsberg because he's a dirty filthy liberal, fighting the homosexual agenda. Who next, Whitman too? He liked boys, I guess his strophes were all for nothing. I guess he must be evil and corrupting and we must protect the children! Because God forbid they would think it OK to love someone.
at least the fact that i have to buy my own food means it's harder to fall back into the cycle of compulsive overeating. i haven't done that once since i arrived here. in fact, i have generally been happier since arriving here.