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Apr. 23rd, 2004 11:37 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sebastiennea day when i was told my poem was 'accomplished', and immediately took to paranoia at the word: 'they don't think - not this time - they know - i accomplished it, this time, they woudln't think'.
a day when i spent 40mins telling the french assistant about the london gay scene. it started talking about le PACS, a kinda gay marriage thing in france; then we were comparing attitudes to gay people in the two countries; looking at each other, thinking, 'but you can't be, you're my teacher/pupil'... by the end of the lesson i've given her www.rainbownetwork.net and told her all about getting flyers for popstarz!
and it was strange what a physiological response i had. after the lesson, i was on edge, alert, skin tense... why? it's not like i'm attracted to her or anything. i guess it was just the randomnness of the revelation. or actually openly talking about gay clubs in that tiny little room in the 6th form centre, to somebody not in my direct circle of friends. i dunno. maybe it was just described visiting oscar wilde's monument as 'the gayest thing i did in paris'.
a day when i spent 35mins talking to random jehovah's witnesses on my doorstep. asking them whether they really thought that happiness was a state which sould last perpetually, saying that i thought their image of zion, with nothing to work for or desire, was akin to mental stagnation and therefore hell for me.
but whatever it is, something today has put me in a fantastically good mood. i am absolutely buzzing, yet relaxed at the same time. i hope this lasts.
a day when i spent 40mins telling the french assistant about the london gay scene. it started talking about le PACS, a kinda gay marriage thing in france; then we were comparing attitudes to gay people in the two countries; looking at each other, thinking, 'but you can't be, you're my teacher/pupil'... by the end of the lesson i've given her www.rainbownetwork.net and told her all about getting flyers for popstarz!
and it was strange what a physiological response i had. after the lesson, i was on edge, alert, skin tense... why? it's not like i'm attracted to her or anything. i guess it was just the randomnness of the revelation. or actually openly talking about gay clubs in that tiny little room in the 6th form centre, to somebody not in my direct circle of friends. i dunno. maybe it was just described visiting oscar wilde's monument as 'the gayest thing i did in paris'.
a day when i spent 35mins talking to random jehovah's witnesses on my doorstep. asking them whether they really thought that happiness was a state which sould last perpetually, saying that i thought their image of zion, with nothing to work for or desire, was akin to mental stagnation and therefore hell for me.
but whatever it is, something today has put me in a fantastically good mood. i am absolutely buzzing, yet relaxed at the same time. i hope this lasts.
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no subject
Date: 2004-04-25 05:49 am (UTC)