Wow, okay, reading this really made a hell of a lot of sense to me. I could never quite explain to people that actually, I don't like being the centre of attention... unless it's on the stage... or cause I'm wearing an entirely gold outfit... or I have three foot long neon pink hair. I thought the only reason could be that I was just making a safe outside face to show people - and I suppose what you're saying ties in to that, as in, I choose what you judge me for, rather than letting you actually see me, and getting hurt by judgement on that. But that latter half doesn't mesh, because neon pink hair and head to foot in gold /can/ be me. It's just... that well, like you say, I'd rather get heckled for something I thought HAY THIS LOOKS LIKE FUN, than for just failing to manage something I don't give a shit about (ie looking 'normal').

This has cheered my day right up. Thank you, o font of wisdom.